The most curious thing I notice in people and also in myself, is the process of change. Two years ago, if someone had told me how I would become, how much things would change, I would never have believed them. First of all, change scared the hell out of me. It takes you to an unknown place and unknown circumstances where you are no longer “home”, let’s say. It’s an unknown territory. You feel lost because all that you have known before, doesn’t exist anymore.
The funny thing is back then I didn’t know that the only way I would really mess up my life, would be if changes never happened. You remain stuck in one place, the same person as always, the same familiar setting and it is really safe and comforting when you’re inside the bubble. But it never helps you really. Because that way you can never explore your full potential. That bubble, that safe bubble called routine, where you feel so safe at first, is nothing more than a cage. It may be a golden cage, but still, it remains a cage.
I don’t want to take credit for the quote I just mentioned, because I have heard it in an Italian song. And it stuck in my head for years and years. I thought I knew the meaning before and maybe I did. Sometimes I think I was more sensible in my teenage years. But after some time I lost myself somehow. I got stuck in the bubble, which funnily enough I had created for myself.
The important thing though, is that we never lose ourselves forever. We somehow find our way back. The speed depends on what we have to do to get ourselves back and how to do it. I think I am still in the process, because we never fully understand ourselves and our insanity. It is a road we take to finish when our souls leave our human bodies. But I do believe that at many times during our lives, we do find ourselves and understand the real self. It takes a lot of love and truth. You really have to be true to yourself to get to know the real you.
This is exactly the change that happens whether we want it or not. Sometimes we take full responsibility of our lives, we take charge and lead our own adventure as we want it. But some other times, those times when we’re not that well connected to our true selves, the circumstances take us wherever they want to. They bring change whether we want it or not. And the cause of the changes isn’t in the circumstances. No, I don’t believe that now. We brought the circumstances even we didn’t want to. So we find ourselves stuck in the stream of life and we think that we are hopeless and cannot do anything and then we get depressed because things aren’t the way they were anymore.
What I believe now, is that even though some changes that come into our lives may seem terrible at first, there is a reason it is happening and there’s always another side of the coin. A cycle has to end for another cycle to begin. A new cycle with new experiences to learn from, to enjoy and to live.
Two years ago my life was different. I thought I was really secure in the golden bubble I had created for myself. Oh, there were times when I doubted my bubble and that was because the person I had become wasn’t really me. I was just lost for a little bit. But I had to overcome some hard times in order to really realize that. And so I did. And I have never looked back and pitied myself for the bad things that have happened to me. I am thankful for each of them because they have returned me to where I belong. To the rediscovery of myself, to a changed and better self and most of all, a stronger one.